Jake wasn't tall sitting at maybe 5'10" and had tousled brown hair that laid short and flat on his head. His head that had those deep brown eyes. Those brown eyes that you wish you could get lost in but once you started to it ended, an abrupt ending. Jake was drowning, sinking. His eyes, his mannerisms held pains and struggles that you never thought existed. Pain and struggles that you never pegged Jake to have experienced. I loved Jake. I'm not sure if it was true love, pure love or even love at all but it was an emotion, a new one. Jake loved me though. A passionate and obsessive love and all I could equate my feelings to with Jake anymore is security. A warm, fuzzy security blanket that I wrapped myself in because it was all I knew. It was like the blanket we are all given when we are brand new babies and you never really want to give it up. It's all you know. All. Jake was my oldest brother Mike's best friend. He was born to a farmer and your typical housewife that opened a diner in our very small sleepy town over fifty years ago. They had money but weren't filthy rich and Jake, he was the only child. The only son born to a well known and well respected couple. I can't remember the first time I met Jake but he was always there, always with Mike. And the day I applied for the internship I started my first day of work at the diner. Which also started four years of flirting, butterflies and a school girl crush with Jake.
I remember the day Jake told me he loved me. The day that his stubbled and tanned face rubbed along my collar bone. The day that his rough deep voice whispered things in my ear that not only made me blush but also made me feel things that I wasn't sure I understood. He rested his rough hands on my hips and kissed me softly. I melted. That day started an almost two year relationship of chaos. I had gotten word months earlier that I was accepted into the internship I had applied for. I was able to finally iron out all the details to appease my worried family and the entire life changing experience was a go. The day I went to quit was the day Jake confessed his love. I still went to New York. I left. We made the choice to work with a long distant relationship. I think that was the biggest mistake I made. Maybe not but it sure felt like it.
After Jake told me he loved me, he whisked me off to his house. The house that his parents used to live in and he recently remodeled. Jake's parent moved to the city near the things that they needed as their age and health had both turned against them. They were talking about moving to Florida but every time it was brought up Jake found other reasons to convince them otherwise. After so much back and forth, the city was the next best thing.
When Jake's parents moved out, he moved in and remodeled the house entirely; turning it into the ultimate bachelor pad. The house on the outside remained the same except for the new lighted pathway, waterfall and koi pond and then of course manicured acre of yard surrounding the house. Past that acre of perfectly mowed, spectacular green grass was the 19 acres of forest and farm land his parents had spent the most of their lives adoring. They planted a garden. They planted corn. They hunted in the woods and taught Jake how to hunt in those woods also. Much like the rest of us we learned to be self sufficient with what the good lord had provided for us. It was the way of life in our town, heck our region. Yet Jake wanted to stand out. He felt that he owed himself more so he turned the inside of the house into a pristine home that lost the feel of comfort that his parents planned out so well. I'm sure deep down Jake had resentment inside of him for his life. He felt stuck. Stuck in his house. Stuck in his job. Stuck in all things with no decision. But if he had paid more attention to his parents he would've noticed he wasn't.
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